A story about rules
And how every single one of them
went out the window.
Early February 2025
David
I had just gotten out of a relationship and I was dreading getting back on the dating apps. Halley and I connected the day I started back up on Bumble and she was a standout with her brand of humor, love of travel, and impeccable grammar and punctuation.
I broke my normal rule of not going back and forth too much before the first date because I so enjoyed chatting with her.
Halley
Like David, I had just gotten out of a relationship and wasn't exactly relishing another round of endless swiping. But even before we met, something felt different. Over lengthy paragraphs and shockingly precise grammar and punctuation, we had hours of dialogue covering travel, our love of Japan, mic drops, Eddie Vedder having to retrieve his mic after a failed toss, and so much more.
February 3, 2025
David
We met up at Victoria Bar on a Monday evening and talked for hours. I immediately felt so comfortable with her and the conversation flowed so naturally. I didn't want the night to end.
After I walked her to her car, I really wanted to kiss her but as a rule I avoid kissing on the first date. I regretted that even the next day.
Halley
It started with dinner. Well, before that, it began with confirmation there would be a meal, and he would be paying. 7:30 pm is a risky time for a first date…do you eat beforehand? Risk it all and show up famished? I was immediately charmed by the clarity of communication.
Despite my cynical tendencies (though I'll forever argue it's realism over cynicism), this was a first date I wasn't dreading.
Dates are often a blur, but this I recall—we talked for hours, he made fun of my puffy coat, he drank wine despite his dry February rule, and neither of us wanted the night to end.
February 5–8, 2025
David
We made plans to meet up again on Saturday (and I immediately canceled the other date I had lined up that week because I didn't want to see anyone else). But I just couldn't wait until Saturday, so I asked her if she could get coffee on Wednesday.
And then we met up Thursday. And Friday. And went to the Japanese Garden on Saturday, then the Light Festival that night. And pretty quickly we were inseparable.
Halley
He boldly threw out the idea of coffee mid-week. I admired his confidence, charisma, and charm, and before I knew it, Wednesday coffee became a Thursday hangout, a Friday dinner date, and Saturday, our first photo together.
February 2025
David
She invited me to karaoke for her birthday after we'd been together for a week, and I omitted mentioning how, as a rule, I don't really do karaoke because it terrifies me, on top of the idea of meeting a dozen of her friends at the same time. Especially because some of her friends were legitimately professional singers.
But good people know good people and her friends were so funny and friendly and put me at ease. I had a blast and actually couldn't wait to do more karaoke with them. Even if my nerdy song choices didn't get their full deserved appreciation.
Halley
Dating someone new in February is fraught with peril; between Valentine's Day and my birthday, it's hard to know whether it's too soon to make plans and scare away something that could be great. But again, this felt different.
I invited David to my birthday karaoke party, one that many of my own friends probably were reluctant to attend, but he readily agreed. Though his song choices were questionable (nerdy comedy likely goes over better with his programming crowd), his enthusiasm was palpable, and my friends could see I was over the moon to have him there.
February 25, 2025
David
The next week, I needed to fly down to LA to do my Global Entry interview, and I had a crazy idea that we could go to Disneyland and check out the Star Wars park, which Halley had never been to.
I was stoked when she agreed to said crazy idea, and it was a joy traveling with her. I had this goofy idea to get a picture with Boba Fett while flashing Star Trek signs and I loved that she was down for it. We couldn't stop laughing afterwards.
LAX · February 25, 2025
David
I was developing strong feelings, but as a rule, I wanted to wait at least 3 months before saying “I love you.” We had worked around this by using phrases like “I adore you,” “I'm very, very into you,” but those just aren't quite the same.
Waiting for our flight back, Halley broached that subject, and…we decided to say those three words for the first time to each other in front of an off-brand airport Panda Express we had just ordered from.
And that was when I realized…rules are dumb when you've met your person.
Halley
The consummate rule follower, I was breaking all of them. We were spending every night together, and by three weeks in, I knew I was in love. We'd say things like “I'm very into you,” which quickly became “I'm very, very, very into you.”
I couldn't take another adverb, so at an off-brand Panda Express at LAX, the kind of place where you hope you took your probiotic that day, I professed my true feelings. I said, “what if I told you I was a step beyond 'I'm very, very, very into you?'”
I braced myself for disappointment, but what I got in return was a blank face. “What do you mean?” David asked. Ladies, you know what I meant.
“I mean, what would you say if I told you I loved you?” With bated breath I waited, as he replied, “I'd say, I love you, too.”
March–May 2025
David
What followed was a whirlwind romance; I moved in, the cats were initially totally thrown off having an extra human in the house but warmed up to me, we made custom T-shirts of the cats, we shopped for houses, we had a ton of fun date nights, many involving matching outfits, we went line dancing, did trivia with my friends, spent more time with her friends.
I got to know her wonderful and hilarious family, we went to one of her mom's plays that we didn't really understand but it inspired lots of Jason Bourne memes, we took several more trips to San Francisco, Palm Springs, Santa Barbara…and we talked about when we wanted to get married.
To which I answered, “I'd literally get married tomorrow.”
Halley
From there, we were off at lightning speed. He started moving in with me (and not vice versa, so as not to disrupt the cats). I asked him about his ideal timeline for marriage, to which he said, “I could marry you tomorrow.”
May 29, 2025 · Cannon Beach, Oregon
David
So long story short, I proposed at Haystack Rock and here we are.
I absolutely knew she was my person because after she finished crying, she said, “we need to call State Farm tomorrow and add this to our policy.” We have the EXACT SAME ANXIETIES.
I appreciate so much that Halley and I can have deep, vulnerable conversations and also have so much shared laughter and hilarity. I've never met someone who I communicate so well with and vice-versa. In her I've found my best friend, lover, travel partner, cat mom, Millenium Falcon copilot, and I'm so excited for this next chapter for us.
Halley
And here we are, planning the wedding of our dreams with the people we love most by our side. (And no, the cats will not be included in the ceremony, despite David's insistence on Wasabi being the ringbearer.)
David is my best friend and my favorite person. As someone who relishes her privacy (only child syndrome), I thought I'd struggle with being around someone 24/7, but in fact, I miss him even when we're not in the same room. He's changed every expectation I had about relationships and broadened my life in myriad ways.